


Irrumatio

by shambling



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Drabble, Footnotes, Irrumatio, Latin Dirty Talk, M/M, Not quite PWP, only explicit by inferrence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 21:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20663951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shambling/pseuds/shambling
Summary: Crowley can do really weird things with his tongue, Aziraphale won't shut up. These two facts are almost but not entirely unrelated





	Irrumatio

**Author's Note:**

> Rated teen because technically it's only explicit if you look up the Latin. Technically.

Two seemingly, although not entirely, unrelated facts.

1\. 

Although he was loath to admit it, Crowley had at least, at one point in his life, been a snake. This meant that he tended to hiss a bit when he forgot himself, and he could do really weird things with his tongue. He could also, either through inattention or deliberate effort, forget the limits of the human jaw and esophagus. On a practical level, this meant he could do things like swallow an entire hardboiled egg in one go. Amongst other things.[1]

2.

Aziraphale was hard to shut up. Left to his own devices he would keep up a constant stream of commentary and chatter, narrating his day, talking to himself or to the spiders in the corners of the bookshops back room. This, he blamed largely on Crowley, the only constant conversational presence for 6000 years and he’d spent at least a hundred of them asleep. Only a particularly interesting book might be able to shut Aziraphale up, and even then he was inclined to make little noises of pleasure as he discovered a particularly good piece of marginalia or type setting. [2]

*

Aziraphale had his fingers tangled none too gently in Crowley’s hair, and, as usual, was murmuring almost to himself. What he was saying was not, in and of itself, Dirty Talk, it was more explicit by association.

“Oh my dear, this is just, you’re so good, I can’t believe they used to think one might not want to do this, you know they used to have a specific word for it, the Romans, or maybe it was the Greeks I can’t recall…” He was interrupted by Crowley pulling away and sitting back on his heels so that he could look Aziraphale in the eye.

“Angel, if you say fellatio I’m never doing this again, and that will upset me almost as much as it’ll upset you.”

Aziraphale simply retangled his fingers into Crowley’s hair, stroking briefly along a cheekbone with one thumb as Crowley resumed his initial position.

“Oh no my dear, I was going to say Irrumatio[3]. Completely different.” This caused Crowley to make quite an unusual noise in his throat, which in turn had a rather noticeable effect on Aziraphale.

[1] He’d had a brief spell as a sword swallower in a circus just to relieve the monotony, and because he enjoyed the attention. His speciality was flaming swords. What did you think it was?

[2] He would also try his best to interest Crowley in such things, despite several hundred years of resolute disinterest from the demon in question. That’s the trouble with immortality, it gives you a warped sense of when to admit defeat.

[3] If your latin isn’t up to scratch, please enjoy the following definition. Please also use great discretion when following [this](https://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/irrumatio) hyperlink. Maybe don’t do it in public. Or whilst holding anything breakable*. For a more complete history, including the Graeco-Roman reference, please click [this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irrumatio), again, with care.

* We did warn you 


End file.
